Nothing at all
by KleinerRabe
Summary: He just wanted to be abused and humiliated, like he deserved it, like he needed it so much. And, oh, how bad he always felt afterwards, the hatred, the selfloathing…


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, this story was written because late in the evening, this came to my mind.**

**Warnings: maybe language (sorry for errors, I translated my story from German!), it's dark/angsty**

„Let's finish this quickly"  
Subaru impatiently placed one arm under his head and let the other men spread his legs a bit more apart.  
He noticed the oh-so-well-known low chuckle and tried to ignore it. It didn't mean anything at all.

"So very impatient tonight, are we, Subaru-kun?"

"Just shut up and do it."

Subaru was tired of waiting for anything to happen. Seishiro had spent the last thirty minutes to tease him instead of going on further. All Subaru wanted was to end all this!  
He just wanted to be abused and humiliated, like he deserved it, like he _needed_ it so much. And, oh, how bad he always felt afterwards, the hatred, the self-loathing…

He wished for these dark moments to arrive soon, he wanted to die.

But, unfortunately, Seishiro would not fulfill his wish. Not yet.  
Not when he was not bored enough of his favorite toy, when there was still a reason to keep it. But, Subaru knew, there would someday be the time where he would set him aside or – very probably – destroy him.

Seishiro usually felt amused to see how easily it was to make the Sumeragi-head do what he wanted him to.

"So you think it's you now who commands?"

With one hard thrust Seishiro entered the younger man's tight passage, enjoyed the hurt look on the beautiful face –oh, how Subaru deserved it to be penetrated – and began to pound into him.

It did not matter to him whether he hurt the Sumeragi physically or mentally, he was certain it was what this poor human beauty needed, it was all he ever _wanted_ Seishiro to do.

For Subaru it was all he ever deserved. He could not fight the Sakurazukamori, so why try? He did not even want to fight him while they were about to have sex.

Those nights, in which Seishiro felt the Sumeragi was worth his attention, he longed for Seishiro to hurt him, to fuck him raw and make him feel sore afterwards. The Sakurazukamori was well aware of what he had to do to remind Subaru who he belonged to.

It was just a matter of time, when Seishiro would be fed up with their little playtime.

So he let Seishiro have his way with him, until they reached the day the murder would fulfill his deepest wish.

Physical attraction was all he could give to the Sakurazukamori. It was all he was good for…

Oh – yes. That was it. The pain, caused by the deep thrusting of the other man, mixed with lust. And he had to admit, he didn't know it better. Pain was sweet, and the pain meant lust to him, the one and only fulfillment of sexual ecstasy.

He turned his head to the side, trying to avoid the hungry gaze of Seishiro. He did not want to face him now, but knew so well that Seishiro would make him look at him. Just to hurt him, just to make him die a little more inside.

To look into his cold mismatched eyes meant to face a part of himself that he wanted to kill. He was the lowest of the low – that made Seishiro feel him.

He was just nothing to him at all.

"Your lips" the dark and husky voice of the other man sounded next to his ear "They're bleeding"  
Seishiro eased his thrusting for a short moment, just to dive in even deeper than before.

Subaru moaned when the Sakurazukamori licked the corner of his lips, tasting his blood.

"This blood…your blood will be the best ever that will cling on my hands, my clothes when I've finally killed you."

Subaru cried out, pained, and came, carrying the Sakurazukamori with him.

The bed sheets felt cold and alien on his soft skin. He did not want to turn around and face the back of the other man, who eventually was putting back his clothes on.

He knew too well that Seishiro would leave him. He always did.  
He never even said a word before he left, leaving the Sumeragi behind, alone and insecure.

Tears were streaming down his face; he did not make any noise. He was not able to say or do something.

He hated this man, yet he was the only one he truly loved. He loved this cruel bastard of a man, who had taken everything away from him and still did.

He felt the other body weight shift from the bed and took a deep breath, closed his eyes and hoped he would awake soon somewhere else.

"Your tears are a waste of time, Subaru-kun. No matter how much you'll try, not even you can change me. Save your tears for the day you'll die, for the last moment of your live in which I'll let you know, that you have been just another victim of the Sakurazukamori."

End

How was it? I feel happy about reviews 


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